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I have been grading forever

We offer eighty-umpteen sections of this class, and several of the people who teach it who aren't me more or less pass you for being alive.

So if you took it with me in a previous semester and failed, why would you sign up to take it with me again?

And if part of the reason you failed last time was that you cheated on homework by copy-pasting (wrong) answers from wikipedia, how, how HOW in hell did you decide it was a good idea to DO THE SAME THING AGAIN this semester?  

Actually, I know the answer.  Certain students view professors the way certain men view women: as mysterious black boxes whose actions are entirely unpredictable.  They might bestow A's upon you or they may fail you, entirely at their whim, and none of that has anything to do with work on your part, although you can try to propitiate them by making offerings.    

(They always try to offer me a mysterious delicacy called an "extra credit project."  In other words, they think I will like them better if they make me grade MORE stuff for them.  This is the opposite of what I want.)

Crossposted from